January 07, 2016

You know that moment right before you’re about eat what your best friend has proclaimed to be the best sushi in town? Those few seconds before that piece of sushi reaches your mouth hole you may be thinking… “What the hell is he babbling on about!? It’s just sushi. How good can sushi get?!?!” And then it collides with your tongue and your senses go bananas.  Everything is working overtime to figure out just what in the hell took place. You can’t figure it out. There is no understanding this. This sushi is by far the best thing you have ever tasted. This singular piece is heaven personified. Now you may be asking yourself… “What in the hell is he babbling on about?!!?” Well, let me explain. I have tried a lot of sex toys that over the years have started to lose their appeal.  They all start to feel and look the same. Electronic masturbators in particular are my least favorite. They disappoint and frustrate me to no end. So when the Vorze A10 Cyclone SA (SA stands for Stand Alone) reached my desk I thought… “GREAT!!! More sushi!” But then I tried it and everything went out the window. This thing defies all explanation. However, I am a sex toy reviewer and therefore I must find the words to accurately express my feelings on this machine.  So far all I have is this. “Unfu@#ing believable!!!”
Sensation & Feeling: 4.6/5
I could use this time to tell you all the ways this toy is far superior to its older sister the A10 Cyclone, but I will not. This thing cannot even be compared. Everything is such a vast improvement it’s not even funny. It is as if Vorze listened to everything I have been saying over the years when it comes to electronic masturbators and went out and built it. The Vorze A10 SA is in a realm all by itself. It is what dreams are made of. Everything about it works flawlessly. If you are familiar with electronic devices of this kind then you are well aware of the struggles some users face. Either the motor is too weak to do anything or you have an Autoblow and well…you’re just SOL.  I seriously gave up on these things after the Zini Dib Bang Bang. Sure I loved that toy at the time. But a few months later it was just another toy collecting dust in my closet. The Vorze SA however has me scrambling to use it. I am practically pushing my wife out the front door to get some alone time with it. It never gets old and there is always something new to explore with this toy. Once you are tired of the particular sleeve you have, buy another one for a whole new experience. Don’t like the sample videos that come along with the toy, go to realtouchscripts.com and get some new and much much better ones.  Or if you are tech savvy, create and share your own. It’s insane how endless the possibilities are. I know I am ranting and raving here and not really discussing how it feels and the reason behind that is this. This toy is much larger than anyone can write or do a video about. It’s only limited by the power of its user. If you are looking for the one toy to rule them all, this baby is it. Don’t buy anything else. Just this.  I just committed affiliate suicide. Regardless, this toy is simply amazing and it feels unbelievable to use. Even though it is a cyclonic action it still gives you the illusion of penetration. Couple this feeling with a fantastically timed POV video and a well scripted CSV file (The text that makes the toy move along with the video) and the only thing missing is an Oculus Rift. I highly suggest not only getting the toy but all the sleeves as well. Trust me. The only thing that will race through your mind after using it the first time is how the other sleeves feel. It will consume you till you do.
Cleaning & Maintenance: 4.4/5
This toy is a breeze to take care of. The inner structure that holds the sleeve easily pulls out and snaps open. This makes clean up a snap. Then simply rinse out your sleeve and go through all the regular paces. Nothing unfamiliar here. I haven’t used any cornstarch on my sleeves since using them and it has been absolutely fine. The material they use for the sleeve doesn’t really call for any after cleaning. So this was a nice step skipped.  The sleeves are also surprisingly durable. Especially if you compare them to the Vorze A10 Piston. I have stretched and pulled these babies to the max and they have yet to tear or rip. My only criticism is the color choice. Each sleeve is an ivory color and this makes the entrance look a bit ragged and dingy. I wish they would have tinted them with a bit of pink dye to nit only make it look more realistic but also help in hiding all the little flaws that come in the manufacturing process. Other than that this is a simple toy to care and look after.
Price & Performance: 4.0/5
So here is what hurts this toy the most. Its price tag is HUGE! Nearly an Xbox One sitting in your bedroom that you have relations with.  This sucker goes for $329.95. Plus the sleeves are sold separately so you will have to dish out another $29.95. Here’s the thing though. Once you try it you may never wish to buy another masturbator again. So if you are an avid fan of male masturbators and you buy a new one every month or so you might want to just stop what you are doing and try this puppy out. It will break you. I look at all of my sleeves now with a tad touch of disdain. I stare at my Meiki Real and wonder why she can’t do what the Vorze SA can.  It’s that good. I have never owned a “Go to” toy before. I usually just playfully went with the flow of whatever floated my boat at the time. But dear god, this toy sinks its teeth into you and doesn’t let go. It is well worth the asking price. I would pay it no questions asked. It is an experience that any enthusiast needs to have for themselves.  So if you have the money then by all means snag this baby now while it’s still in stock (I have a feeling they are going to fly off the shelves at ToyDemon) or best yet, set a price alert and wait till ToyDemon throws their Black Friday sale. You might just be able to save enough to purchase all of the sleeves at no extra cost.  Who knows?  Either way get this thing ASAP.
Final Thoughts & Score: 4.5/5 BUY IT!!!
This is one of those toys that I could rave on about for hours. It’s utter perfection and such a relief to finally have an electronic hands-free masturbator that not only does what it was designed to do, but does it in such a way that it leaves the user dumbstruck.  My hat goes off to Rends. This is their Sistine Chapel and I honestly don’t know what they can do to top this?! Until that day comes get this thing and try it out and by all means cruise around the net for user made CSV files and videos. There are some fantastic ones out there if you know where to look. If you do happen to make one of your own please share them with me, I would love to see what you have created.  This will not be the last you have heard or seen on the Vorze a10 Cyclone SA. Trust me.  Because honestly, even though it may not have scored as such. This is the best toy I have EVER tried. Period.