Okay, so here is the deal. It is inescapable now. This year has been the weakest by far when it comes to new masturbators being released. Everyone in "Our Lil' Community" is talking about it and it's high time we discussed this issue. The turn out thus far has been so weak I am seriously debating not doing a 'Top Ten' video this year. Even so, if you asked me today what toy manufacturer could pull us out of this hole my list would be pretty short. On top of that list is the great minds over at NPG. NPG the makers of the ZXY, The Maria Ozawa and the Yen Jyu Yi and numerous other fantastic masturbators. These marvelous God's amongst men surely will be able to help us out of this rut. Maybe in 2017...hopefully, but for us in the here and now, we will just have to pray Santa brings us something amazing come Christmas. Until that day lets settle in and talk about NPG's newest hand held hip masturbator The Real Sumata Shinsei. A sexually appealing hip that falls short when sprinting across the line. What else are we gonna do to kill the time for NPG to get their $3!& together. So...lets start.
Sensation & Feeling: 2.5/5
This is one of those reviews were I need to focus on the "Feeling" I get while looking at The Real Sumata Shinsei. Or is it the other way around? Who cares. Anyways, the look of this hip is amazing. Instead of the traditional looking hip masturbators we are all use to seeing, with he perched up ass winking at us from afar, The Real Sumata Shinsei is a staring eye piercing into the darkest depths of our souls. The design reminds me of a woman with her hips raised high and her back end backed up as far as humanly possible. The overall aesthetic look is phenomenal and unlike anything I have seen. Unfortunately like so many others before it, this too is deceiving. A person merely needs to look at a cut away view of the internal structure to get an idea of just how lack luster both tunnels are. The vaginal structure has a tight ring that protects against lube spillage and for added sensation. So upon penetration you are lead to believe that the vaginal cavity is going to be tight as well. This is not the case by a long shot. Once inside you will feel the vastness of the wide open back end. If you move on to the anal cavity you are going to be greeted with a bit of a surprise. This tunnel feels even more loose. Its a tad troubling to note that if anyone reading this is over...I don't know...lets say four inches...you are going to poke out of the top while using this. Its simply just to shallow to ram away on. It's beautiful to look at and a pleasure to hold but anything past this becomes cannon fodder for your disappointment.
Cleaning & Maintenance: 4.0/5
The beautiful thing about having a tunnel that has absolutely nothing going on in it, is that it is easy to clean. The straight shot design of both cavities allows you to squeeze in a foam bottle brush with relative ease in order to wick away any moisture before storing. The only curve ball may be the ring used in the vaginal entrance. This may tear or rip on you so use some common sense and patients and it really shouldn't give you much trouble as I was able to stretch it pretty far in the review without any damage. The one key here is the anti-bacterial toy cleaner. If you don't own any yet why not go and throw all your toys in the dumpster, because that is where they are heading if you continue abusing them in such fashion. So please make sure to get some and follow the instructions. It wont kill all germs but it will keep a large majority at bay. Other then that the TPE material used here doesn't really call out for any form of corn starch coating after cleaning. It seemed to maintain its original feeling rather well. So I guess we can cheers to that.
Price & Performance: 3.9/5
This is where NPG shoots themselves in the foot. They have such a large catalog of highly rated toys on ToyDemon and for good reason. They are AMAZING! Around 95% of them are all cheaper then the Real Sumata. So I would have to imagine your next question to me would be "So whats a better hand held hip masturbator for around the same price?" Well Sir I am glad you asked. The Meiki Cherry 2. Hands down. Every day all day. It may not be a dual layer design like The Real Sumata but it makes up for it in pure user pleasure. Now this is where we fall into what I like to call the DC realm. Where you have such great source material to pull from. Things you know for a fact people love and can't get enough of. Yet, you decide to push out a Jared Leto. We don't want Jared Leto. We want the voice of Mark Hamil and the body of Heath Ledger. Or should I say the voice of Arleen Sorkin and the body of Margot Robbie. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Yeah, that's what I am looking for. NPG has the ways and means they just need to give us all what we have been screaming for. Until then save your money and get the heavy hitter hand masturbators from NPG.
Final Thoughts and Score: 3.0/5 FAIR
All in all I wanted to love this hip. It looked so damn good in my hands that I almost felt that looks alone could drive my passion past the loveless cavities. But much like the waitress from Five Guys, this wasn't the case. So I had to pack her away and put her on the top shelf with all the others that couldn't hack it. Which is an utter shame. I have hope though. I really truly do. That maybe just maybe 2017 will be the best year for male masturbators we have ever seen. So many new great toys that we can literally build a wall with the boxes. Oh yes, I believe we can make male sex toys great again. #MAKEMALESEXTOYSGREATAGAIN. Tweet that.