review

  1. Video Review: Fuwa Cyun W

    Video Review: Fuwa Cyun W
    What does one say when asked about the strange and unusual Fuwa Cyun W. What possible good things can a mind conjure up after using said toy? I don’t want to be all negatives here but when you are surrounded by them it seems like there is no other choice. I will attempt it however for sake of staying positive and all that jazz. Even though in the long run and the grand scheme of things the Fuwa Cyun W is one of the worst toys I have used in a long time.
    SENSATION & FEELING: 2.5/5
    So the Fuwa has a relatively simple concept anyone could get behind. It’s a dual penetrable thorough hole. Allowing the user to decide which end to use. Each end providing a different experience. This is actually pretty ingenious but non
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  2. Video Review: Nama Sotai 02

    Video Review: Nama Sotai 02
    Nama Sotai not to sell work. NAMA! Seventeen five same color T-shirt. WHITE! Get it?! Nama Sotai sounds like ” Mama told me”. Like that Migos song ‘T-Shirt’ ! Get it!?!? No???? Well you try writing intros to written reviews. It isn’t easy friends.  Anyways…lets talk about the Nama Sotai 02 shall we. Ok. SKRT SKRT!!!
    SENSATION & FEELING: 4.9/5
    Before I dive in I need to explain myself on something here real quick. In the video review for the Nama Sotai 02 I made a critical error. You see I use a bit of a cheat sheet to the left of the screen. This cheat sheet holds my scores and topics I want to discuss in the review.
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  3. Video Review: Geki-Fera Vacuum Aika

    Video Review: Geki-Fera Vacuum Aika
    Believe it or not, PornHub can become rather boring after the first initial 100 hours of viewing wears off. By this time you have seen it all. Tiny Teens. Stepdaughter wakes up Stepdad. Schoolgirl gets punished by Teacher for bad grades. Clown makes balloon animals out of used condoms. Whatever floats your boats is at the tips of your fingers just waiting for the search bar. Well, I thought I exhausted all avenues. Until I opened the pages to the world of Japanese porn and all the AV actresses it has to offer. Sure this is a big world and it’s not exactly hidden in the shadows. It has a huge fan base obviously but alas it’s an area I never really ventured in for too long. Mainly because of the needless censorship of all the bits that matter. Makes no sense to me at all! Anyways, Japanese porn houses some of the most gorgeous woman in the industry and Aika is one of them. So it is no surprise that NPG would make a to
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  4. Video Review: Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Soft Skin

    Video Review: Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Soft Skin
    The Sujiman Kupa Lolinco Soft Skin edition of the Sujiman Kupa Lolinco line is the third rendition of this hot selling toy. Magic Eyes have a tendency of doing this whenever they hit pay dirt. They exploit the fame by slightly reinventing something that is already great and somehow make it even better. This turn around they simply made the outer flesh even softer then before and the inner layer even harder than before. Sounds like a lazy man’s way of getting your hard earned money I know, but here’s the thing, IT WORKS EVERYTIME!
    SENSATION & FEELING:  4.3/5
    I am very rarely lost for words, as you all know, I can talk for 30
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  5. Video Review: The Quattro Gichigichi Natural Girl

    Video Review: The Quattro Gichigichi Natural Girl
    The Quattro Gichigichi Natural Girl is one of those masturbators that shouldn’t work. It has problems that only become apparent after a dozen or so uses. For example, its softness and the anal entrance being too thin for its own good.  So this written review may have a few extra insights that my video review did not.  This will be one of those rare times where it pays to be a reader. With that said let me explain why my opinions have changed since I filmed this review.
    Sensation & Feeling: 4.1/5
    Originally I loved this toy. I
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  6. Video Review: Tenga Flip Hole Zero

    Video Review: Tenga Flip Hole Zero
    It pays to read these written reviews sometimes dearest reader and this is one of those times. As you will hopefully see from the video review we were forced to step out of our norm and into the dark ages of when I first started doing video reviews over 6 years ago. YouTube loves to mess with uploaders and I am no exception to this rule. Long story short, here we find ourselves. Using written words to help explain the wonders of the Tenga Flip Hole Zero that I simply couldn’t sum up in less than ten minutes. Enjoy!
    Sensation & Feeling: 4.5/5
    I have been a huge advocate of Tenga since I first tried one of their flip holes years ago. It is leaps and bounds farther away from a normal masturbator you can possibly get.  
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  7. Video Review: Gokusai Monster Alraune

    Video Review: Gokusai Monster Alraune
    Whenever I look for something new and utterly unique to do a review on, the first place I look is magic Eye’s website. They are my absolute go to for masturbators that push the envelope of fantasy and reality. So it is no surprise to me that their newest toy in their “Monster” line up does just that. The Gokusai Monster Alraune is a perfect blend of fantasy and reality. They merge these lines to create a handheld masturbator that can fuel any Anime lover’s dreams. Especially if you like tentacle porn. More on this later. What you get with the Gokusai Monster Alraune is a toy that is amazing to hold and look at. Unfortunately, that’s where the boundaries of this toy lie. Like so many others before it, Magic Eyes have put out a Bentley that turns out to be just another POS Chrysler 300.
    Sensation & Feeling: 3.5/5
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  8. Video Review: 'Gloria" Masturbator Review

    Video Review: 'Gloria" Masturbator Review
    Have you ever been dragged to the Golden Corral by your Grand Parents at 3:30 on a Sunday? You kind of want to be excited and at the same time not show how utterly disgusted and disappointed you are to your grand folks. After all, they ARE spending the little bit of money they get from the government to take your ungrateful ass out to the Coral. So what do you do?  You eat the shoe leather steak and the lumpy mash potatoes and smile for old Pee Pop. Yeah, that’s exactly what this year has felt for me when it comes to sex toys. Nothing has come around to make me feel like I am at a Longhorn steak house. Everything has been a long line of disappointing buffet food.  Even so I need to provide reviews for you the people. It’s my duty as XXX Branded. So as I stand here staring at the sneeze guard I decide that Koko’s new hand held masturbator named Gloria is the best choice.
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  9. Video Review: Real The Sumata Shinsei Review

    Video Review: Real The Sumata Shinsei Review

    Okay, so here is the deal. It is inescapable now. This year has been the weakest by far when it comes to new masturbators being released. Everyone in "Our Lil' Community" is talking about it and it's high time we discussed this issue. The turn out thus far has been so weak I am seriously debating not doing a 'Top Ten' video this year. Even so, if you asked me today what toy manufacturer could pull us out of this hole my list would be pretty short. On top of that list is the great minds over at NPG.  NPG the makers of the ZXY, The Maria Ozawa and the Yen Jyu Yi and numerous other fantastic masturbators. These marvelous God's amongst men surely will be able to help us out of this rut. Maybe in 2017...hopefully, but for us in the here and now, we will just have to pray Santa brings us something amazing come Christmas. Until that day lets settle in and talk about NPG's newest hand held hip masturbator The Real Sumata Shinsei. A sexually appealing hip that falls short when sprinting across

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  10. Video Review: Meiki no Syoumei 10 Okita Anri Review

    Video Review: Meiki no Syoumei 10 Okita Anri Review
    April 10th of this year will mark my 6th year anniversary of doing sex toy reviews. Since that time I have reviewed well over 400 sex toys.  Out of all those toys I have reviewed my favorites list is surprisingly small. The few I love have been on my tops list for a long time and I really wish something would come along and give them a run for their money.   The one thing my tops list has in common is the company that produced these diamonds in the rough and that is N.P.G. This company is known for manufacturing high end realistic masturbators based off of Japanese AV actresses. Famous for p
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